I’m Not Sorry for My Tears: A New Movement

“Do not apologize for crying. Without this emotion, we are only robots.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert

A few nights ago, I was at a groovy, loud Mexican restaurant with some friends. In between sips of spicy margaritas and bites of chips with guac, I was talking with one of my friends privately about her latest struggles. She was confiding in me that she was still quite emotional about losing her mom.

Although it had been two years, she still found herself crying alone and in front of others when she talked or thought about her mother. She mentioned that the week prior, someone at work had asked her a question about her mom and, upon answering, tears had started to flow freely. Then, she was embarrassed and quickly took her hands to her face to wipe the tears and started apologizing profusely.

“I’m so sorry!” she quipped. “I did not anticipate getting emotional. I apologize for the tears.”

This stopped me in my tracks. I was literally stymied by it all right then and there. I thought about this, and it hit me. What the heck is wrong with our society? Wait, don’t answer that. There are way too many things, but I’m referring to this one in particular.

Why do we apologize when we cry? It absolutely should be the opposite. Crying is opening one’s heart and soul. It’s being vulnerable. It’s being real, open, and in touch. It’s exactly what we’re supposed to do when we’re hurting. We are purging ourselves of our sadness with our tears.

When my boys were little and they would burp or fart, I would always say, “Better out than in,” and this is the same. Better out than in. Let them go. Release the flood. Cry your eyes out. And, for the love of all of us, do not apologize.

Instead, I propose we start a movement. Instead of apologizing, how about we do the opposite? Upon tears starting to fall, how about saying, “I’m not sorry I’m crying”? This is taking our power back. It’s taking pride in knowing that you are being real, vulnerable, and open.

My best friend is a therapist. I discussed this with her, and she told me that almost every time a client cries, they apologize to her. Think about that. They are paying her quite a bit of money so that they can be “seen,” and they tell her they are sorry for crying. She told me that she always tells them to never apologize for crying, but that generally doesn’t stop them from saying it in each subsequent meeting.

After realizing the glaring phenomenon of apologizing when the tears start to flow, I noticed it everywhere. It was exemplified in every reality show on TV, as these seem to be prime platforms to cry. Every single time I witnessed someone crying, they uttered the words, “I’m sorry… ugh, so sorry…” as they tried to compose themselves. I could see the embarrassment in their faces and their mannerisms.

I also attended a funeral recently and noticed that every time someone relayed a story to me and started to cry, the next words were always “I’m sorry.” It is ubiquitous. I have never been around someone or seen someone on a show or movie say, “I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry for showing you my heart, opening my soul, and being vulnerable.”

Think about how you feel when you’re with someone who begins to cry. For me, I completely soften inside. No matter what the circumstances. Even if I am mad at the other person, I don’t like them that much, or I don’t know them very well.

The moment someone cries in my presence, I melt a little inside. Whatever guard I had up, whether it was big or small, it comes down. I truly see them as a feeling soul who just happens to be human. I am drawn to them. I feel connected. I want to be closer to them.

I am also a bit honored that they feel safe crying in front of me. I feel a little special, even if that is totally unintentional on their part. I feel like they are letting me in and showing me more of who they are.

So, after coming up with this new manifesto, I knew I needed to start practicing it and see how it felt. It came up two days later. I was telling my husband about a memory I had about his dad, who had recently passed, and in this tender moment, tears started to fall.

I fell into my rote way of thinking and feeling and quickly apologized.

“I’m sorry I’m getting emotional,” I said, and then I remembered. Oh shoot, nooooo, not that. So I course-corrected. “I’m not sorry, I mean.”

The funny thing is that I’m certain he didn’t even notice my backpedaling. I, however, did. I noticed that it felt better to say I wasn’t sorry. It gave me agency. I didn’t feel weak. I felt power in my words and in my tears. And it’s not even about power; it truly is about being real and honest.

There is power in being completely transparent. Life is hard, and our hearts break a little and a lot, and sometimes often. It is our opportunity to truly live the human experience. To cry is to be human. There is no reason to apologize for being human. Let it go. Let it all out with gusto, and then stand strong and say, “I’m not sorry I’m crying” and see how that feels.

I’m not sorry.

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About Laura Pastor

Laura Pastor can be reached at gumprun@austin.rr.com. You can find her teaching yoga on her dock or at Lake Austin Spa or playing with her shiny dogs. She wrote a manuscript about her struggles with breast cancer and had a few friends collaborate so that there would be diverse stories within the book. She is hoping to publish it soon so that others going through cancer can find hope and connection.

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The Big Impact We Don’t Realize We Make Every Day

“Don’t underestimate the impact your words, actions, and energy have on people. A small act can impact others in bigger ways than you’ll ever know.” ~Kat Quach

One thing we all share is the desire to leave a legacy behind. The desire to show that our life was worth something, that we achieved something, that we were important in some way.

We tend to focus on big achievements and the pursuit of activities that will leave something tangible behind. A charitable contribution, financial assistance for future generations, artwork, statues, monuments, even gravestones. But what if our impact can be felt in a way that is far more simplistic but just as important?

Many years ago, I experienced a fairly serious episode of depression. I’d just turned thirty, and my life hadn’t turned out remotely close to how I thought it would. I wasn’t happy with my job, I was reeling from a series of bereavements, and my marriage had ended a couple of years before. I felt like a failure.

I had been burning the candle at both ends, desperately trying to find ways to make myself feel happier, but if anything, I just felt worse. Feeling useless and inadequate with no idea of what my purpose was, I slumped into a severe depression. I just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up.

It truly did appear that I had hit rock bottom.

Fortunately, I had the support of some good people around me and a tiny flicker of strength, suggesting that I wasn’t quite ready to stop living. I focused on getting some help and, with the aid of antidepressants, I was able to gather enough energy to start seeing a counselor and begin the process of addressing the issues in my life.

It was not a quick fix. It took time and was an incredibly painful process, but I persisted, and as the months progressed, I was able to stop taking the antidepressants.

As I started emerging from this fog of despair, I felt well enough to go out on a night out with some friends. I was in a bar when I met a girl I knew from school. We were having a nice chat. I hadn’t seen her for a few years, so there was a lot to catch up with.

After a while she told me that she wanted to thank me because I had saved her life when she was in her mid-teens. This was a surprise to me; I didn’t know what she was talking about.

She then proceeded to remind me that during that period she had been going through a very difficult time and had attempted suicide. Many of her peers had been less than understanding, and she had felt increasingly isolated.

She told me that the turning point came when I went to sit beside her on the bus one day and chatted with her. We didn’t talk about anything in particular, but the mere act of me sitting next to her and just being with her made her feel as if she had an ally. She concluded that she didn’t think she would be here, married with two children, if I hadn’t been kind to her.

I was astounded by this story. I remembered hearing about her suicide attempt; it was much talked about. And I also remembered how sad I’d felt about her despair. I hadn’t recalled my simple act of sitting beside her, and even if I had, I never would have imagined the scale of the impact it would have on her.

I found myself crying as I processed the profound significance her story held for me. What a gift to hear this at a time when I was feeling as if I had so little worth. I told her how I was feeling and that I had been struggling with depression, and she simply said, “Well, perhaps you needed to hear this from me.”

After that night, there was a difference in me. On one level, I was still enduring the constant slog of navigating my way through this episode of depression, but on another level, I was starting to feel a different energy as I began to truly understand the impact of our actions on others.

Up until that point I had perhaps focused more on the power of negative actions and believed that only grand gestures could have a positive influence. In fact, one of the contributing factors to my depressive state had been a feeling of impotence and powerlessness.

I reflected on how little action had been required on my part in this scenario. I hadn’t made any dramatic moves to help my fellow student, and we didn’t even discuss her circumstances, but according to her, just having someone be with her was enough.

The realization of the significance of that small act, the positive effect that such a simple gesture had elicited, was inspiring, particularly so because in telling me about it she herself had given a gift that would transform me.

I had always been someone who liked to help others, but this feedback focused my mind on doing so in a more mindful way.

It spurred me on to get a new job, one where I felt as if I was in a better position to help others. I felt more patient with my elderly relatives, as I realized how much it could brighten their day to have someone visit them or take them out for a trip. It gave me the impetus to keep learning about myself, to become more aware of my potential and influence.

Perhaps you are now waiting for me to tell you about my many accomplishments since that time, but that’s not how this story goes. My most important accomplishment, to be compassionate, is a work in progress.

It doesn’t always work. I still lose my temper occasionally or I feel a bit grumpy at times, but I try to remain mindful of my behavior knowing that it will have an impact on others.

I’m not suggesting that you have to go out and find someone in despair so you can save them. Sometimes the smallest act, such as smiling at another person as you pass them in the street or being understanding when the customer in front of you in a shop is being really slow, can make a huge difference to their day.

We often don’t understand what is going on in someone’s life, and it really doesn’t take much effort to be patient and kind.

Perhaps if we were to focus less on the grand prestige of awards and recognition and more on the smaller acts of being kind and compassionate, we could start to see the ripples of positive change that spread out from our actions. That is a legacy I believe is worth leaving.

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About Donna Clark

Having spent twenty-five years working in process-driven jobs such as finance, facilities management, and human resources, Donna decided to leave that world behind and focus on prioritizing her creative side. She has written creatively since she was a child but is only now starting to share her writing in a newly launched blog. When she’s not writing, she spends her time traveling and connecting with people. Visit her at dozywrites.com.

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When It’s Time Tell Your Story: How to Step Out of Hiding and Into Healing

“One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” ~Brené Brown

“Hey, can I call you?” read the text from my cousin Dani.

“Of course,” I responded, nervously drawing in a deep breath.

I had recently shared some painful experiences with a family member we are both close to. I assumed Dani had heard what I’d said about our family, and I wasn’t sure if she’d be upset by the secrets I had exposed.

Throughout my life I had always been told to put a smile on my face and pretend that everything was just fine. I was taught that expressing ‘negative’ emotions may upset others. God forbid.

My mother died from breast cancer when I was only twelve, and on my last visit with her, I was told, “Don’t cry; you don’t want to upset your mother.” The “suppress all emotion” mentality continued after her death while I was conditioned to hide the verbal and emotional abuse I endured as a teen/young adult.

In my mid-forties I began trauma therapy and was diagnosed with complex PTSD. I began journaling to process the various ordeals I had experienced throughout my life. I am a list-person and found cataloging each incident with its associated emotions a beneficial way to absorb all that I had endured.

When the full inventory of traumas was complete, I just sat there and stared at the paper, my hand over my mouth. Seeing them together, the pain and the scars, I was stunned by the sheer volume. It was as if a blindfold had been removed, and I could see it all so clearly now.

I had spent my entire life keeping quiet and acting like everything was okay. I would alter myself, lessen myself, bend to placate others and suit whatever narrative would keep the peace. When that blindfold fell away, I knew I was done.

I purposefully made the choice to stop abandoning myself. I was tired of being the version of myself that everyone found tolerable. To keep the peace? Whose peace? I certainly wasn’t at peace, and I didn’t want to live like that for one more second.

I would step out of hiding and bravely bare my scars and tell my story. I have heard the stories others have been bold enough to share and found such comfort in the similarities; I felt like maybe I wasn’t alone.

I now felt the call to tell my truth in the hopes of being a source of encouragement for others who struggle with childhood trauma and mental illness.

It was scary, but I hesitantly began telling those closest to me. My husband and children knew the main pieces of my trauma, but I filled them in on all the rest of it. I became more courageous after that and slowly confided in other friends and family, exposing generational trauma, abuse, and abandonment. I was fully transparent and spared no one, not even myself.

As anticipated, there were unfavorable reactions where I received criticism over my sharing of this type of content. However, those negative responses were the exception, not the rule. I was pleasantly surprised that the majority were positive and incredibly validating. Some even thanked me for sharing my story, telling me what an impact it made or how helpful they found it.

Some family members, including my cousin Dani, corroborated the trauma and abuse. That was so healing for me to hear, especially when facing disapproval from others. What happened to me was true, even if there are some who want to dismiss or minimize it. A handful even shared their own stories of survival with me after hearing mine.

One critic asked why I felt the need to put all this negativity out there. They understood the need to journal to process my trauma, but talking to others about it seemed outlandish to them. They felt it would do more harm than good.

My entire life I had been conditioned to hide the truth and pretend like all was well, ignoring my own needs in favor of everyone else:

• Never be sad, even if your mom dies when you are a kid.
• Never be disappointed, even if your dad doesn’t step up for you.
• Never be angry, even if your stepfather screams at you.
• Never be upset, even if your stepmother demeans and excludes you.

In trauma therapy, I learned that hiding ‘bad’ emotions (spoiler alert, there are no ‘bad’ emotions) only causes more pain. The saying “the only way out is through” is popular for a reason. I had to walk through my emotions, honor my pain, and shine a light on it.

I will no longer put my abusers’ needs above my own. I will no longer be silent. I will no longer hide. I will tell my story of survival and healing with the world in the hopes of it being a guide for others who struggle. A map, an atlas.

Stepping out of hiding can be terrifying, and sometimes it needs to be done in baby steps. If you are at a point in your life where you feel it is time to shift from pain to healing, try the following.

1. One Small Step

• Start small: Reveal one minor secret, experience, or trauma.
• Tell one person: a close friend, a trusted family member, or anonymously online.
• Be transparent: Share that you are nervous; say this is difficult for you.

2. Assess and Appreciate

• Give yourself credit: Pat yourself on the back for taking a small, brave step.
• Note how you feel: Proud? Relieved? Lighter?
• Realize: You did it and survived, and you can do it again.

3. Repair and Repeat

• Hits: talking in person, via text, anonymously online?
• Misses: online trolls, friends offended, certain family upset?
• Continue: It becomes more comfortable and more healing with each shared connection.

My reason for sharing my story with the world is that I will never be silent again! I stepped out of hiding to heal and you can too! Tell your story; show your scars. It may be just the map someone else needs to find the way to their own healing.

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About Sadie Montgomery

Sadie Montgomery was born and raised in the Midwestern United States, where she currently resides on the shore of Lake Superior with her husband and children. She is an amateur baker and a professional accountant, and she won The Best Sense of Humor award in the sixth grade. Atlas of Scars is her debut memoir. You can find her on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and at sadiemontgomery.com.

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How to Make a Big Change by Embracing Love and Confronting Fear

“If you truly want to change your life, you must first be willing to change your mind.” ~Dan Altman

I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts recently, and the guest speaker, Gary Zukav, was explaining that humans operate from two major emotions. Once you learn this and can differentiate how you’re truly feeling, life can feel easier and more peaceful. He said this:

Every emotion stems from only two: love and fear.

It took me a second to let the message sink in, but the more I thought about this statement, the more I realized how true it is. Humans can experience a gamut of feelings such as anger, guilt, love, happiness, sadness, worry, shame, etc. But if you look closer at each emotion, you can trace them back to love or fear.

I started to apply this reasoning to my thoughts and began identifying which emotion was causing each one. I found that the heavier emotions like worry, anxiety, and insecurity were stemming from fear. Fear of what will happen, fear of what people thought of me, and so on.

When I started this process of identifying the thoughts, I realized I was spending way more of my time in fear than love. (It’s common for humans to be here because our brain is built to protect us.) I set out to train my brain to think more love-based thoughts like recognizing the abundance and love I already have and how I am so grateful to have the relationships I do.

Now, this isn’t to say that fear-based thoughts are bad; we need them for survival. And I’m also not saying that you should ignore any negative emotion and only think happy thoughts; that isn’t realistic or healthy!

But I found that I was consciously focusing on the heavier emotions instead of finding all the beauty around me. The fear-based thoughts turned into my comfort zone because making a big change felt intimidating. I’d rather just stay safe and let the worry dictate my actions.

I think we humans love to complicate life and be constantly in worry mode, fearing that if we let our guard down something bad will happen. But what if you consciously chose a thought that felt better? What if you chose to see the beauty and ease in life? Try it for just one day and see how you feel.

One area of my life where I was stuck in fear was my relationship with my physical body. I started a new journey this year, one where I am taking care of myself through choosing healthy food and movement. Releasing excess weight I gained from a stressful year in 2023.

Although I knew what foods to eat and that I needed to move my body more, my mind was still against me. Telling me I couldn’t do it or it wouldn’t make a difference. But this time around, I wasn’t going to throw in the towel just because my mind wanted to.

I decided to choose love-based thoughts about myself and my new journey. I figured that no one was going to do it for me, and I needed to be my biggest advocate. I had to choose the thoughts and beliefs that would support me and remind myself that I was worth the extra effort.

Let’s take a look at love-based vs. fear-based thoughts and how I completely changed my perspective by reframing my thinking.

Fear-based thought: I have to cut out “bad” foods so I can lose weight quickly.

Love-based thought: I’m choosing to eat whole foods that give me energy.

Fear-based thought: If I’m not spending an hour in the gym every day, then what’s the point in moving my body? It won’t make a difference.

Love-based thought: I choose to move my body daily, in a way that makes me happy, because it improves my mental and physical health.

Fear-based thought: I have to look a certain way or weigh a certain amount to be happy and confident.

Love-based thought: I’m taking ownership of my health so I can feel and look my best and be confident in my own body, not because I need to look like anyone else. I know that external appearance has little to do with being happy.

Fear-based thought: I need to punish myself for past decisions and actions, so that means I can’t have fun anymore or enjoy food.

Love-based thought: I know that this is a journey, and perfection is not the goal. I’m making daily decisions that support where I want to go, and that includes having fun.

See how supportive and kind the love-based thoughts feel? Now, that doesn’t mean there won’t be challenges or setbacks along the way. Of course there will be! But I can choose to be kind to myself and have my own back.

The love-based approach to this journey reminds me why I’m doing it—to take care of my body, not because I am trying to look like someone else. The love-based approach is what is going to set me up for long-term success.

Fear wants everything immediately, and love knows that good things take time to grow. Fear will tell you to stick to what you’re used to, even if it’s not the healthiest choice. Fear likes comfort because comfort = safety. That’s why so many of us find it challenging to change our habits.

To make any change, you first need to start with your belief system and how you see yourself. Doing anything out of punishment, shame, or insecurity will never last. These are all based on what other people think of you and don’t give you a greater sense of purpose as to why you’re making a change.

Now it’s time to look at your own life and identify which of these two emotions you are living in. The next time you are starting a journey or just feel like you are stuck in life, first ask yourself what thoughts and beliefs you are carrying. Do they feel supportive and loving or fearful?

If you find yourself having more fear-based thoughts, that’s okay and normal. What you choose to do with those thoughts is where your power lies. Start to look at the fear and question what it protects you from. Will it get you to your goals? Would you talk to your best friend this way? Having awareness and confronting these thoughts is what will completely change your life.

Do you desire more love and kindness? Start by being kind to yourself! Write down all the ways you are worth the extra effort and care. Start finding the beauty that already exists in your life, all around you. Decide right now that you’ll be your biggest cheerleader because when you have your own back, almost anything is possible.

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About Annie Das

Annie Das is a writer focusing on self-growth, happiness, and finding purpose. She shares practical ways that everyday people can infuse more spirituality into their lives. Come and join the journey at wordsbyannie.com.

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How to Free Yourself from Your Constant Desires

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions but in having few wants.” ~Epictetus

I surely can’t be the only one tired of constantly wanting things. By things, I mean a new job, a nice car, new clothes, a new home, perhaps even a partner, more friends, more money, or better holidays in more luxurious locations.

It feels like we are forever stuck in a cycle of seeking the next bigger or better thing. Once we have achieved one goal, yup, you guessed it, here comes another, even bigger goal that will probably be harder to reach than the last one.

It seems that we always want more; nothing is ever enough.

At one point I felt like I had truly gotten lost in trying to keep up with expectations from society, my peers, my colleagues, and even strangers!

I was fed up with not getting what I wanted when I felt I needed it, and with getting what I wanted but only enjoying it for a short time before I wanted the next big thing!

When does it end? When do we pass over to the other side? When do we reach enlightenment?

I was tired of constantly chasing things. It was exhausting, and I didn’t have the energy for it.

I wanted to afford to live on my own instead of having to house-share or live with family. I wanted a partner who would be true to me. I wanted my side hustle to earn me enough to do it full time. I wanted holidays multiple times a year.

I was eventually offered a flat viewing for an affordable housing scheme. These were few and far between, so I was lucky to be offered one. I thought that this would be my chance to meet my goal of living alone.

If I got the flat, I could tick it off my list! I would be halfway there to the ‘perfect’ life I had envisioned for myself.

Sadly, I wasn’t offered the flat for reasons unbeknown to me, but being rejected for it certainly put things into perspective for me.

To my surprise, I was not in the slightest bit angry, upset, or disappointed!

I sat and asked myself what it would have changed if I had gotten it. I would have been happy in the flat for a short period, but it wouldn’t have been long before I was itching to live in a house, somewhere bigger or in a better area.

I concluded that it wasn’t life handing me the shit stick; it was me. I was the problem! I always wanted more, I didn’t appreciate what I already had, and I was always looking to the future when things would be “better.”

I sat and wondered what it would feel like to just be, to not want anything, to take everything as it comes without judgment or fear of where I’d end up if I didn’t meet my goals.

Call it a spiritual awakening or an epiphany that there had to be more to life than constantly chasing things I desire.

Annoyed and frustrated with myself, I turned to a search engine for answers. “Is it possible to live without desire?” I typed into Google.

I was met with many articles that provided helpful information.

I have discovered, through books, meditation, online information, and reflection on my own experiences, that desire isn’t necessarily bad.

Issues arise when we chase desires because we feel they are necessary for our well-being and happiness, and we rely on them for fulfilment. The problem is that when we do not get the things we want, it leads to disappointment and misery.

That was certainly my issue. I had become fixated on looking for things outside of myself to bring me peace, joy, happiness, and fulfilment, and they never did, or at least not for a significant period of time.

We Desire More Because We’re Chasing Happiness

We chase external things because we are ultimately chasing happiness; we think these things will make us feel good, happy, and content. When we acquire them, they usually do; the issue is that the feeling of happiness never really lasts. Usually, it’s not long before we want something else.

I discovered that as long as you believe there is something outside of yourself that can bring you happiness, you will never truly be happy because it starts within.

Our Desire is Linked to a Feeling of Lack

We want things because we think we lack something, even when all our needs are met, but if we constantly feel there is never enough, we will wind up creating more of that feeling.

This is the basis of the law of attraction—like attracts like. What you focus your energy on, you receive more of.

I realized that I needed to make changes in my life, slow down, refocus, and tame my constant need to obtain things. To do this, I had to look within to connect with who I really was—a spiritual being to whom materialism and what I have (and do not have) do not matter!

In order to tame my constant striving for more and find happiness within, I implemented the following.

Temper your expectations.

We have to understand that the world doesn’t owe us a thing, but that doesn’t mean that we should stop pursuing the things we want. We should just refrain from expecting everything to turn out the way we hope they will.

If we get what we want, that’s great; if we don’t, we didn’t have our hopes pinned on it anyway, so it’s also okay!

When you have fewer expectations, less can disappoint you, and if you do feel disappointed about something, you will recover and be able to bounce back quickly.

Accept where you are in life.

Acceptance will free you from the victim mentality that keeps you focused on what you lack. Once again, this doesn’t mean you can’t strive to improve your situation. It just means you’ll get out of the judging mind that fixates on how unfair life is, enabling you to enjoy the things you do have and more effectively work to change the things that aren’t working for you.

Surrender to life.

Loosen your grip on your life and stop trying to swim against the tide.

Often, we get so caught up trying to control everything and make everything work in our favor that we cause more harm than good, usually to ourselves.

Trust that things could work out even better than you knew to imagine if you let go a little, and when you face adversity, remember it will pass, because nothing lasts forever.

When you do have goals you want to achieve, try to enjoy the process of getting where you want to be instead of focusing on the end result. Things usually fall into place when we relax and let go of outcomes.

Practice being more present.

By constantly chasing our desires, we can end up living in the future and not here in the present moment, which means we can’t appreciate what’s right in front of us.

The only matter that truly matters is that of now because yesterday is dead and tomorrow has not happened yet.

I found that being present reduced my anxiety and worries about the future, because I made a conscious effort to only focus on the now.

Practice gratitude.

When we appreciate everything we have, we tend to focus less on what we do not have.

Gratitude is linked to greater well-being and overall happiness, and it’s also effective in reducing stress and anxiety.

What helps me is to take a little time at night to find something from the day I appreciated. It doesn’t have to be something big; it can be a colleague helping me with a task at work or a stranger holding the door open for me.

—

Upon reflection, I personally think that it is okay to live with desire. We are human, and living from a desire-less state would be extremely difficult—even wanting to live without desires is a desire itself!

It’s natural to want to eat tasty dinners, to look nice when we go out, and to be able to treat ourselves for our hard work. While these wants may be minor, they are still desires.

Some would even argue that if we did not have any desires, our lives would have no meaning or purpose, and we wouldn’t be motivated to do anything.

But constantly chasing external things and relying on them for happiness and fulfilment is an unhealthy way to live, leading to stress, worry, fear, and even depression.

The alternative is to appreciate all the goodness we have in our lives and understand that happiness cannot be measured by the things that we have, or found by constantly looking outside of ourselves; if they could, then those that could afford to have everything they ever wanted would be the happiest people in the world, and this just isn’t the case!

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About Elyse Andrews

As a well-being and welfare advisor in a university and the founder of a self-development blog, DaisyInTheDust, Elyse has always had a passion for helping and supporting people. At Daisy in the Dust they aim to help their community become the best versions of themselves. They do not believe in the status quo and societal norms, and their aim is to help empower their community to forge their own path to peace and contentment.

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Submit Your Quote for Tiny Buddha’s 2026 Calendar

Hi friend! As you may know, I’ve offered a day-to-day desk calendar with quotes for the past few years and will soon offer my fourth.

I’m currently working on the 2026 calendar, and, as I did last year, I’d love to include some quotes from the community.

If you’d like to submit a quote (or more than one!) for consideration, you can do that here.

Some guidelines to keep in mind:

1. Quotes can be up to 75 words.

2. They need to be entirely original.

3. They can be on any topic related to personal growth, including but not limited to:

• Acceptance
• Change
• Choices
• Goals
• Gratitude
• Kindness
• Letting go
• Loneliness
• Meaning
• Mindfulness
• Peace
• Purpose
• Regrets
• Relationships
• Uncertainty

You don’t need to be a blogger or published author. Your quote doesn’t need to have appeared anywhere else before, though it’s fine if it has. It just needs to deliver a message that speaks to our shared human struggles and offers insight, advice, encouragement, or inspiration.

Unfortunately, I won’t be unable to personally respond to everyone who submits a quote, but if I decide to include your quote in the 2026 calendar, I’ll email to let you know.

Interested in sharing your wisdom? Click here to submit a quote!

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About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others do the same. She recently created the Breaking Barriers to Self-Care eCourse to help people overcome internal blocks to meeting their needs—so they can feel their best, be their best, and live their best possible life. If you’re ready to start thriving instead of merely surviving, you can learn more and get instant access here.

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